I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
