Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
