Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
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You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
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Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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