Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
