your thong is hanging out like whoa
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
