booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
