Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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