wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
