Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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