honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
