Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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