Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I currently don't understand fingers.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
