I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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