she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
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Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
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I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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