You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
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Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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