yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.