He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
29 People Who Do Dirty Things Just To Get Their Way
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.