great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
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today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
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I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.