you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!