Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
