i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
