If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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