puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
