Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be your penis for a week.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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