We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
