hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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