She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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