Fine. I'll sleep in my office
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
