She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
two words...techno handjob
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
