oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
