I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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