I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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