This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
