Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
