I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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