Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
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And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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