He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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