Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
