Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
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I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
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This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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