Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
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How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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