my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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