all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Are we still banned from the library?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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