Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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