Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
