piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
