well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Randomize
