If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
