i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
