what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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