Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize
