So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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