so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
