there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
