Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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