Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
