There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
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