would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
