Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize