Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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