Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
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