NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
