her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
